People won’t remember what you say (or write), but for sure, they will remember how you made them feel. This is what wise people say. Is it true? Or a misconception?

Look, feelings matter the most, and undoubtedly, people will hardly ever forget how you made them feel, good or bad.

However, as an English language coach, I need to emphasize that words also have immense power. They can help you make it or break it. 

Let’s not underestimate their importance. Once out of your mouth or written on a piece of paper or email, they cannot be retracted. That’s it. Finito. The end.

Well, OK, it’s not the end of the world, but why put your career at risk? Sometimes, a wrong selection of words or expressions can ruin things at work.

The risks of missing a word or two

Imagine being at an important meeting, a job interview or a tough negotiation. Or responding to your boss or a stakeholder via email, and boom! You used slang that they don’t get or an expression that seems or sounds aggressive.

There are two possibilities, both unpleasant, to say the least: they will either not understand what you say at all or misunderstand you.

I am not sure which one is worse, but in any case, being more mindful with word selection could save the day. This applies to both written and oral speech. 

Oral or written, the risk is high

Many people believe that it’s less risky to communicate orally because you have the body language cues to help you get your message across. In oral speech, the speaker is in control. It’s true, but being in control also comes with limitations. You have to be careful not to cross the line (too many gestures, talking too fast, getting too personal, to name a few examples).

In written speech, the reader is in control. They can reread what you wrote, but that means they can take what you write word by word. One word to miss, and you may get misunderstood. And there is no way to correct it. 

In any type of communication, oral or written, you need to be mindful. To know where you stand, what message you want to get across and which words and expressions you can or can’t use. 

This is why I decided to share with you ten handy English phrases to help you communicate mindfully and effectively at work.

10 phrases to help you communicate in English mindfully and effectively at work

#1 “Thank you for sharing…”

During the pandemic, we have all been under immense pressure and stress. Showing kindness and appreciation to others for sharing their point of view or perspective is a mindful way to show them you take what they say seriously. This phrase is convenient when another person finishes their part. It also gives you some space and time to start sharing your input mindfully. You can also use it when responding to an email. It sets a positive tone for your response.

#2 “Good point! Can we both think out loud for a minute?”

Instead of quickly jumping to a conclusion or saying something you might regret later, using this phrase can help all parties collect their thoughts and make a deliberate decision. A couple of minutes of brainstorming is always helpful. Also, doing it aloud gives an open, transparent and non-judgemental tone that fosters active engagement and participation. This phrase is convenient during negotiations and/or before making an important decision. 

#3 “Can you share more? I want to understand you better.”

When you don’t understand something, it’s better to ask for more clarification and elaboration in a kind and mindful way instead of stating that you don’t understand. Saying the latter demotivates both sides and sets a negative tone. Asking for more input is the best way to foster further a meaningful conversation where all sides understand each other the best they can.

#4 “Thank you for being honest!”

Negative feedback is always welcome, given it is honest and kind, not trying to diminish, degrade or hurt other people’s feelings. When you receive such input or listen to an argument that is against your perspective, it’s essential not to take the offensive and target the other person. Instead, be kind and show appreciation for their honesty. Honesty helps build a more transparent and trustful environment.

#5 “How can I support you?”

More often than not, there come difficult situations at work where people need help. They usually don’t come to ask for help. Instead, they complain about their condition and bring out negative feelings and perspectives. To solve these situations, it’s essential to take a positive approach and not focus on the problem but its solution. Asking how you can help or even better support them shifts focus from the pain point (and the people involved) to how things can change. People always appreciate being offered help and support, even if they eventually don’t use it.

#6 “How are you today?”

Don’t know how to start a meeting or a conversation with a colleague, client or stakeholder you don’t know well enough? Then, use this phrase. This is convenient when trying to break the ice. Skip the same dull openers and ask the other person this question. It gives them the chance to share with you what’s on their mind, how they feel and what they are thinking, without putting pressure on them or being indiscreet. This phrase is very mindful as it helps you acknowledge the emotional and mental state of the other person.

#7 “Thank you for taking the action needed!”

Showing appreciation to your colleagues or team members always works. Even if the action taken is part of their job, it’s nice for them to hear these appreciative words. Taking everything for granted and not acknowledging other people’s efforts and work doesn’t foster a collaborative environment. It’s more of micromanagement. On the other hand, this phrase sparks positive feelings and motivates. You can use it both in oral and written communication. 

#8 “I’d appreciate your input.”

Instead of asking, “What do you say/think?”, use this phrase to show already appreciation for the other side’s contribution. It is very handy when negotiating or delegating. You can also add this at the end of an important email where you have presented your views on a matter. In any business situation, creative or challenging, it is crucial to focus on collaboration and motivate everyone to share their input. Appreciation can work wonders every time.

#9 “Shall we take a break and come back with a fresh perspective?”

When things get tough, for example, during negotiation or when difficult decisions are to be made, this phrase can help ease the tension. Rather than going for long meetings that go nowhere, taking a time-out or making a pause can help participants clear their minds, let go of negative thoughts and feelings, take a breath, recharge and return to the table with a fresh pair of eyes. Pausing, breathing and recharging before moving on is a very mindful approach that removes friction and opens up more creative and out-of-the-box solutions.

#10 “How are you going to use this information/data best?”

This is a brilliant phrase to use when delegating tasks expecting a good result. Instead of just giving instructions, it’s better to share the information necessary for the job and ask for the other person’s input. Being authoritative demotivates people and closes communication channels. Using this phrase opens up communication, and the other side feels free to ask any clarifying questions or for more help. Being more collaborative doesn’t mean you are going to do their job. It makes sure you give your team members all the necessary tools and guidance to (over)deliver. 

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I could share many more phrases, but these are the handiest ones you can use in almost any business situation. They help you create a more mindful mindset and foster meaningful relationships with the people you communicate with. Be it your team members, colleagues, boss or important stakeholders.

Here at ProEnglish, this is my end goal. To empower non-native, highly- skilled professionals like you to claim what they deserve in their career by breaking down the language blockage in a safe, kind and trustful environment.

I am Vera Daskalaki, your mindful English coach. You, being here and reading this, really means a lot to me. Let me know if anything above hit a nerve, and feel free to send me any questions. 

If you want to talk about your personal goals with speaking English and create a customized plan, just like we did with Marta, book a free discovery call by clicking below.

It’s a free 30-min call, during which we will get to know each other and see if and how I can help you reach your career goals as a non-native English-speaking professional.