Do you remember when you decided to relocate to a new country for work? You felt excited about your upcoming new life and started organising everything: from moving to the new house to paperwork and family arrangements. Until you realised that nothing was actually as planned. 

Everything you thought would take 30 minutes actually took 1 hour. Everything you had planned to cost X amount of money actually cost 2X the money. 

Add to this the last minute changes and complaints by your family members, and you can realise how stressful relocation can become. Is it worth it? And can you avoid it?

What are the signs of relocation stress?

Relocation is a very challenging experience and involves huge changes. The more the change, the more the uncertainty and stress.

Relocating to a new country means unsettling from your current residence and resettling in a new place, where everything is new. Language included.

But even if you can switch to English, you need to be able to communicate naturally and confidently. Otherwise, it can add to the relocation stress.

All these factors can lead to a significant drop of your physical and mental health. In some cases, they may even cause a meltdown or depression. Watch out for the signs. You sleep a lot and get quickly tired. You have a lack of interest in socialising and prefer to stay indoors. You may even distance yourself from your family.

Is there a way around it? Can you handle all the stress inherent in relocation while also enjoying your new life? How can your English communication skills affect you in all this?

5 tips to mindfully deal with the stress of relocation

First things first, there are two main ways you can deal with it in a mindful manner. The first one is to take control of the process and situation. The second one is to take care of yourself. 

All in all, it’s about focusing on what you can control (that is, yourself and how you feel) and taking a mindful approach to the things that are beyond your control (relocation partners, family members, new colleagues and boss, to name a few).

1. Accept your feelings and give time

Relocation includes stress. As I mentioned earlier, it is a huge change, and as such, it can spark feelings of frustration, disappointment, anxiety. You may even second guess your decision to relocate altogether. The best way to approach these feelings is to be aware that they are existent. Acknowledge that they are part of the game, and it is normal and perfectly OK to feel this way. Instead of constantly trying to hide or fight them, make friends with them. Think that this is part of the process and that when everything is over, a new, even more, exciting life is waiting for you. Give yourself (and others around you) the time and space you need to process all the changes and create new routines. It’s the same as when improving your English to adapt faster to your new country. You will make mistakes and feel frustrated with the progress you may (not) make. Being aware that all this is normal makes the recovery much quicker.

2. Stay organised and start small

Having a big goal ahead of you is often frightening. You see the end result, which is far away, and you know there are a million things to take care of before you reach that point. Procrastinating is often a side – effect of this fear. One thing is for sure. Breaking down this goal into smaller actionable steps, the sum of which can help you reach your goal is the best way forward. Use notebooks, make notes for everything, keep them organised in lists, set up reminders. Give yourself enough time to go through all of the tasks, and don’t squeeze in everything together. Most probably, everything will need more time to get done. The very first step is the most important one, so start small. Each small task accomplished can boost your dopamine levels and make you feel rewarded and happier. This very approach is the one you should also follow when trying to improve your English communication skills. You will need these skills to accelerate things and accomplish more tasks faster and easier.

3. Ask for help

Sometimes, when you drown in anxiety and stress, you feel helpless. And most probably, you don’t ask for external support. You either feel weak to do it, or you believe that you will be judged as non-competent if you do so. None of this is true. In fact, outsourcing tasks can save you time, money and your sanity. In most cases, people are kinder than you may think and can provide extra help if asked to. So, quiet down your internal voice and talk to people who can help you. They may be your family members or outside partners, like professionals who can take on some difficult tasks, like legal or financial ones. Not only will you achieve more, but you will also take some burden off your shoulders. The very next step is to be able to handle all this external communication in English, keeping in mind that your contractors may also not be native English speakers. Investing in improving your English language skills, in an equally mindful way, by outsourcing it to a professional English coach might prove an investment with a very high return in the long run.

4. Express yourself

During difficult and stressful times, bottling everything up might be the worst option. The more you keep thinking about your struggles and frustration yourself, the less the chances to let go of stress. Expressing your feelings and talking to your loved ones can help you take it all out of your chest and receive positive feedback. Stress usually makes you believe that you do everything wrong, but this is rarely the case. You are good at certain things but no one can excel in everything. Discussing your struggles with others can give you fresh new perspectives on your problems and may point out a solution that stress managed to hide from you very elegantly. Without stretching yourself and pushing yourself to your limits, socialise more, talk and laugh. Relocation can be a manageable process and a joyful experience despite the pitfalls and frustration that changes bring along. Choose a friend or colleague you can confide in and know they won’t judge you and talk to them on a regular basis. Since you probably have international colleagues and friends, as an international professional yourself, finding your unique voice in English can be of tremendous importance. You may need a professional English coach to help with that.

5. Take care of your body

Stress can take a toll not only on your feelings but also on your body. And this is something you have to take good care of. Watch out for your body cues and give yourself a chance to find a new balance. There are certain things you can do to help you recuperate. First of all, take deep breaths. Mindful breathing brings in more oxygen and takes away some of the stress. Sleep more and sleep early. Start (or restart) exercising. Even some gentle exercise, like brisk walking or cycling your way home, can give you a tremendous mood and energy boost. Needless to say that following a healthy diet is a no-brainer. What you take in also affects how you feel inside. So, keep that in mind next time you succumb to junk food. Last but not least, take breaks. If you feel overwhelmed by relocation tasks, take a break or a day off. A couple of hours or a day off your tight schedule is not a big deal or something you can’t handle.

As you can see, two things emerge here. First, mindfulness can help you with stress. It’s a mindset and a state of mind. So, don’t underestimate its power and try to practice it daily, especially during stressful times. To cultivate the habit of mindfulness you can try a mobile phone app like Headspace. Tried and tested!

Second, relocation is closely related to communication in English. The sooner you decide to invest a little bit in your English language skills and finding your unique voice in English, the less space you give to stress to start creeping in.

Depending on the location, learning the local language can also help you adapt quicker to the new country and culture, while it also gives you extra sympathy points. It shows respect and appreciation to the local culture and that you intend to invest in living in the country.

Here at ProEnglish, this is my end-goal. To empower non-native highly- skilled professionals like you to claim what they deserve in their career by breaking down the language blockage, in a safe, kind and trustful environment.

I am Vera Daskalaki, your Mindful English Coach. You, being here and reading this, really means a lot to me. 

Let me know if anything of the above hit a nerve and feel free to send me any questions. 

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