“I don’t understand! Period. There is something wrong with me or my hearing abilities!”

I hear that from professionals way too often. Most feel there is something wrong with them, like a hearing disability or mental issue. Why else wouldn’t they be able to understand what is being communicated to them?

Imagine this: you are at the office, talking to your boss & an international client you know well in English. More or less, you understand what is being said & feel comfortable with the conversation, listening-wise.

Then, a call with a third party kicks in & you need to speak to potential new clients. You don’t understand what they say, nor do you comprehend what they mean. You freeze, your ears shut down, feeling like you are “out of order”.

Recently, I’ve had another similar client case.

She could discuss with her boss and American colleagues at the office at ease. But when she found herself in a meeting with Australian and New Zealand stakeholders, she froze.

She could not understand ANYTHING AT ALL. As she told me, “she felt like a cat ate her tongue”.

Can you see the pattern?
In most cases, professionals understand spoken English in certain situations or under certain circumstances.

Other times, they feel hopeless and contemplate what is wrong.

Based on my year-long experience, I can see all is good.

If one had an issue or disorder, they wouldn’t understand anything or anyone. Or their English level and exposure to the language would have to be extremely low.

What is listening all about?

At this point, I feel I have to clarify this first: the difference between hearing and listening.

Think about this: when someone talks to you but you don’t get them, you ask, “Sorry, can you repeat? I can’t hear you!”.

This is obviously a technical matter because your ears can’t receive the sound waves of the person’s speech due to environmental reasons.

Let me clarify!

hearing is the sense of receiving sound stimuli from the environment, whereas listening is a broader notion that also includes comprehension.

Hence, your listening skills are about hearing what is being spoken AND understanding its meaning to a lesser or greater degree.

Now, we’ve covered the basics. Let’s dive in further!

Why do you ultimately struggle with understanding when others talk to you in English? Read on!

The 5 main reasons you can’t understand spoken English

Think of communication in English (as in any other language) as a system where a message has to be coded (by the person who is talking), transmitted and decoded by the recipient (you).

There are usually issues in all these 3 phases, but the three main reasons you typically find it hard to understand spoken English are the following

• you are used to listening and understanding the people you know well. They may even adapt how they speak English so you can understand them. This is not the case with people you meet for the first time. You are not used to their voice & this creates issues. Often, there are two or more people you may not know (so well or at all). So double or triple the challenge.
• the topics you usually discuss at the office are known & you feel comfortable with them. If the meeting or discussion is about something you are not familiar with, you find it harder to understand the context and what is actually being communicated.
• unfamiliar environments or settings also have a toll on your listening comprehension skills. For example, a meeting at a client’s premises you’ve never been before or an appointment at a restaurant or conference room.

See? Topics, people or environments you are not familiar with make it super hard for you to listen and understand everything, more so in a language other than your native one.

On top of that, there are a couple more reasons you struggle with your English listening skills:

• factors having to do with the transmitter (i.e. the person talking to you), like bad speaking habits (too low volume, not clear pronunciation etc.), accents, and idiomatic expressions.
• external factors like noisy environments or distance from the speaker, to name a few.

Now you know it’s not your ears or brain to blame. As I like to say, listening skills are about fixing and optimising the conditions during communication in English. Read on!

Optimise your listening skills in 2 steps

First of all, stop beating yourself up. In 99% of the cases, it’s not your fault. Treat yourself with grace and kindness. Take it easy and mindfully, one step at a time.

Second, try these 2 steps below to train your ears & brain.

𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝟭
This is the easiest part. Although you cannot control the external factors I mentioned above (or at least you can’t control them 100%), you can identify them in a conversation & try to improve them.

For example, if you are out on the street & you can’t understand because of noise, suggest going somewhere quieter inside.

Or, if their voice volume is too low, ask them politely to talk a bit louder.

𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝟮
You need focused listening. You can’t improve your listening skills the same way you improve your writing or reading.

In a conversation with people you don’t know, you usually hear a quick and continuous stream of sounds with no breaks.

If you try to identify each word in that stream & then put them all together to make sense, you’ll lose it. You can’t rely on your memory.

Instead, identify the segments in a person’s speech that contain a specific idea or meaning. Learn to break down the sentences into segments while listening to someone talking to you and not particular words.👌

𝗘𝗫𝗔𝗠𝗣𝗟𝗘: “𝗜 𝘄𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗸!”.

In the sentence above, one section is “until the end of next week”. Another is “won’t be going”, and another is “to the office”. See?

“I won’t be going to the office until the end of next week!”. There are subtle natural pauses. Train your ears to them!

Are you feeling more confident now? I’m sure you do. Want more? Find out how active listening can help you nail it.

5 ways active listening can help you improve your listening comprehension skills in English

1. Face the speaker & have eye contact. This will help you focus more on what they say, and the direct communication channel can eliminate many external factors (like noises or other distractions) that make it hard for you to understand what is spoken.
2. Don’t interrupt. Even if you don’t understand something (or most of it), let the speaker finish what they have to say. Interruptions cause frustration and even more misunderstandings.
3. Summarise and ask questions. If there are things you didn’t understand, tell the speaker what you got and ask them kindly for clarifications (not to repeat what they said, it’s very different!).
4. “Listen” to the speaker’s body language. Facial expressions, tone of voice, and gestures can help you better understand what they say.
5. Focus on what they say. Don’t judge, jump to conclusions or even prepare your response. The human brain can’t perform all these actions at the same time.

This is how you can become an active listener from now. You will see that your English listening comprehension skills will improve significantly if you do it.

You need to practice it, though. Time and practice make a champion!

~~~

Here at ProEnglish, this is my end goal. To empower non-native, highly-skilled professionals like you to claim what you deserve by breaking down the language blockage in a safe, kind and trustful environment.

I am Vera Daskalaki, your mindful English coach. You, being here and reading this, really means a lot to me. Let me know if anything above hits a nerve, and feel free to send me any questions.

If you want to talk about your goals and struggles in English and create a customised plan, just like I’ve done for dozens of professionals in the past, book a free Clarity Call by clicking below.

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