“What is your biggest flaw?”

This is (used to be?) a very common question for candidates at job interviews.

HR people and potential bosses alike like that question because the response to it allegedly shows how prepared a candidate is and how they approach their negative sides.

One of the most popular responses is “Perfectionism”.

Wait, what? Is perfectionism a flaw? Many believe so. And if it is, then why do so many people practice that all the time?

When it comes to business English, perfectionism is also very common among professionals who want to improve their English at work.

If it is bad, why is it so common? Is it bad everywhere, or are there areas where perfectionism can work?

Putting up a fight against it can help you reach a breakthrough.

So, there is a paradox here: if you are a perfectionist, you will probably never reach a breakthrough and excellence. While if you approach things differently, you can in fact, achieve that breakthrough with English you longed for.

In this article, I will elaborate on the matter and explain why people revert to it and how you can fight back to reach your “perfect goals”.

What is perfectionism with English, after all?

There can be many definitions of perfectionism, but regardless of which one you choose, its consequences are detrimental in any case.

Perfectionism is the tendency to demand of others or oneself an extremely high or even flawless level of performance, in excess of what is required by the situation.

Others might say that it is a refusal to accept any standard short of perfection.

This, in practice, means that you set a very high, almost utopian, standard of English you want to speak and strive toward reaching it.

As you may notice, any definition contains words with a negative connotation: demand, excess, refusal.

This already indicates that perfectionism is something negative and should never be perceived as a positive trait.

So, the famous HR joke with perfectionism as the response to what is someone’s biggest flaw makes sense.

Trying to speak perfect English is about setting the bar too high (most often unrealistically high) and accepting nothing less than it.

6 signs of being a perfectionist with English at work

I see specific patterns with my clients during our first sessions, as we discuss and navigate their challenges and pain points.

One can easily spot perfectionism lying beneath the signs in many of these patterns. So, watch out for them.

#1 All or nothing. You will either learn to speak perfect English and practise it at work, or you will never engage in conversations, meetings, calls, etc.

#2 Too much judgement. You judge yourself very strictly and often see failure where there is none. You also often criticise others for not speaking your “perfect” English.

#3 Fear of failure. You feel you will fail to speak English at the next meeting, call or presentation at work. Therefore, you find excuses to avoid them altogether.

#4 Unrealistic goals. You aim at speaking English “like the native English speakers”. Nothing more to add here.

#5 Outcome-focused. You set goals and focus solely on the outcome, i.e. how you will speak English, without taking the necessary steps to reach that goal or even enjoy the process.

#6 Procrastination. You usually postpone pursuing your professional goals until you learn better English, improve more, and speak the language fluently. You don’t actively go after your goals and showcase your skills, talent, and personality until then.

How bad is all this? I’m sure you understand that these signs are critical for your success as a non-native English speaker.

I can hardly find anything that sounds normal or positive in all these behaviours.

And it ultimately makes me very sad to see otherwise highly skilled professionals waste their time, energy and money on perfecting something that cannot be perfected.

Then why is perfectionism so common?

At this point, allow me to clarify this: perfectionism is human. It has to do with internal processes, mindsets, and how we have been brought up and started learning English.

So, there is no need to beat yourself up every day to act like that.

You need to acknowledge and embrace it until you can fix it. Trust me on that.

Mindfulness is exactly about that and can help you approach your business English differently: one that is kind, empathetic towards yourself, and non-judgmental.

Moving forward means you become friends with perfectionism and don’t let it control your mind and trigger specific behaviours.

If I had to answer the question “Why do people aim for perfection” in a few words, I’d say it’s because of psychological reasons and past experience.

These two affect how you set expectations and what expectations you allow yourself to create.

The example of your native language

Let’s say your mother tongue is Italian or Spanish. You have started learning the language as a baby, long before you even remember it.

You have spent countless hours at home, with your family, and then at school, with your teachers, to learn it properly and speak it fluently.

You don’t have this broad perspective in mind when you approach your business English.

You expect to reach a point (preferably fast) where you will be able to speak English the same way you speak Italian or Spanish.

You know what it is to speak a language fluently (your mother tongue), which drives you to set the same (unrealistic) expectations for your English.

However, you need to acknowledge this: you may believe you speak your mother tongue 100% right, but you don’t. And in the same way, English speakers don’t speak perfect English either.

So, you have a distorted “perfect” picture of reality that urges you to create a similar expectation for your English. Well, don’t.

The “right or wrong” culture in the education system

The education system also significantly influences your behaviour with its “right or wrong” orientation.

You see, from an early age, you’ve been bombarded with tests and exams, where you get points for getting the correct answer and lose points for any incorrect ones.

When you had English tests, there was only one “correct” answer when you had English tests. Anything else was wrong.

This has contributed to creating a mindset where it’s only black or white. Right or wrong. Opting for the right will get you far. All other options lead you to failure.

In the same way, you’ve built a mindset where you can either speak “perfect” English or fail. There is nothing in between.

Now listen: don’t get me wrong, I don’t suggest that you don’t have to do your homework, study grammar, build a strong vocabulary or work on your pronunciation.

You need all this. They are the essentials so you can speak English as close to the “standard”.

However, you also need to keep in mind that anything in between the perfect standard English and what many call “bad English” can also SOMETIMES be good enough to get your message across.

To top it off, bear in mind that even if your level is high, you may (and are allowed) not speak “perfect” English all the time.

You may be tired or stressed, or it may just be “not a good day”. It’s OK to make mistakes and feel like you haven’t performed at your best.

What matters is to communicate, connect with others, contribute, and help, even with your “less” perfect English.

So, now you know the signs of perfectionism to watch out for and the deeper reasons professionals like you act as “perfectionists” when it comes to their business English.

How about discovering the right ways to put up a fight against it and get over it for good? Read on!

3 steps to fight perfectionism with English

Many coaches and gurus suggest setting realistic expectations. That works. However, for me, it’s a prerequisite for reaching a breakthrough with your English. Let me explain.

I find it’s a no-brainer to keep away from unrealistically high expectations. This is why I talked about expectations in the previous section.

For me, it’s part of the mindset shift. It’s essential to work on one’s mindset first. This is why I believe watching out for the signs of perfectionism and understanding where it comes from are more important.

It’s not about having to set realistic expectations. It’s about not feeling the need to set the bar too high.

It’s a more down-to-earth approach to things (and business English) and can work wonders in the long run.

On the practical level, I believe these 3 steps below can help you win the fight with perfectionism and set you on the right sustainable track to reach a breakthrough with your English and speak naturally and confidently.

Here you are!

#1 Respect your current level of English

There are two ways of looking at things. One, your level is not good, far away from perfect. Two, your level is at least good enough for communicating in English. Opting for the second is a much more mindful approach that can help you get far with your English.

You automatically have the confidence to speak English, engage in conversations at work, and express yourself. You may make mistakes, yes! It’s perfectly OK. But still, you can communicate effectively.

All this is to point out that you must respect your English level. Instead of regarding it as low and yourself as incompetent with English, embrace what you already know, put them to practice, iterate and improve. After all, your level is most probably already good enough.

Besides, you don’t need to impress anyone with your vocabulary. If the more sophisticated words come out of your mouth, that’s more than fine. If they don’t, it’s okay, too. Even natives may not use the perfect word to express themselves, so take it easy and mindfully.

Relax, take deep breaths and indulge in the conversation. It’s better to stay in the flow than mumbling or freezing trying to find the right tense or preposition or other grammar points. Next time you will do better. That’s a fact.

#2 Focus on what already works

Most of the time, people focus on the things that go wrong. For example, let’s say you had an important meeting with clients or stakeholders. For the first 50 minutes, all went well, you spoke good English with ease and confidence. Then in the end, you got stuck because you couldn’t find the right word to express yourself, so you mumbled, then froze, and it felt awkward. You’d probably say the meeting didn’t go well because of those last 10 minutes.

We, humans, tend to focus on the negative incidents, no matter how short, small or irrelevant they may be. And we also tend to forget what we do well or what we are good at.

Especially perfectionists, who aim at perfection and flawless performance, exaggerate and dismiss all their efforts simply because they were not 100% right, correct or on point. You know what? 95%, 80%, 75%, even less is still OK and, in most cases, good enough.

As a next step, reflect on the meeting, presentation or call ends, and realistically assess how it went and what you did well. You will most probably find that you did well, despite any mistakes or deficiencies. Then, notice what went well and focus on them to reinforce them. These are your strong points, and on many occasions, they may outweigh all and any mistakes.

For instance, perhaps your grammar is good, and the correct tenses and structure come naturally. Acknowledge that, take it in and make it part of your skillset. Next time, you can do even better than the last one and transform your strong points into superpowers that help you nail it as a total.

#3 Work on your areas of improvement

OK, we talked about your level and strong points. What about the weak ones? You, too, have some, and these flaws are merely areas of improvement. So, instead of seeing them as obstacles towards perfection, acknowledge them as points you need to work on further. It’s precisely like the half empty – half full glass notion.

It’s all a matter of perception and perspective. You have the glass, which is you, your skills and competencies, weak and strong points, who you are. The water in it represents what you are good at. Your glass will always be half full. The more you practice and improve, the more water will fill your glass. And your goal should not be to have it filled over the top. Any excess “water” will fall out and get lost.

This is the way you should approach your perfectionist side. There can always be more and more, better and even better, but having a balance works wonders. Having or doing anything in excess, like underestimating your value or overestimating your weak points, won’t get you far with anything, let alone English at work.

If you want to see all this in action, in a real-life story, watch the video below. It’s the first edition of my new “English with Purpose” talks series on YouTube.

This time, I host a special guest, Gorana Sandric, and we talk about all things perfectionism, like
– How she approaches business English
– In what ways does she deal with her perfectionist side
– Best practices and tips from both Gorana and me

Gorana is an entrepreneur, HR lead and coach, and a wonderful personality. She now feels relaxed and open to speaking English naturally and confidently after going through her challenges with mindfulness.

Check the first episode of the “English with Purpose” talks series below and tell me what you think: how do you find Gorana’s approach to English at work? Which tips do you find the best for letting go of your perfectionist side and enjoying the process?

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Here at ProEnglish, this is my end goal. To empower non-native, highly-skilled professionals like you to claim what you deserve by breaking down the language blockage in a safe, kind and trustful environment.

I am Vera Daskalaki, your mindful English coach. You, being here and reading this, really means a lot to me. Let me know if anything above hits a nerve, and feel free to send me any questions.

If you want to talk about your goals and struggles in English and create a customised plan, just like I’ve done for dozens of professionals in the past, book a free Clarity Call by clicking below.

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